Our minds start to race, especially in highly stressful times so sleep becomes illusive. We may fall asleep but can’t stay asleep or sleep just won’t come at all. This is one problem that I’m sure most single moms have faced.

There were times when it felt like I didn’t sleep for weeks. My mind just wouldn’t stop running. The next day I was tired and cranky, which was unfortunate for my kids. I still have those nights when I wake up at 3am and can’t get back to sleep.

To get to sleep I do several things as listed below. Give them a try if you are ever facing insomnia. They will likely help. They are non-habit forming and have been used for centuries.

Lavender
I suggest that you get some lavender. It can be lavender essential oil, lotion, and candles. I use this when I have insomnia and it works well without poisoning my body with medication.

Valerian Root
I’ve also use Valerian herb. It comes in capsule form and though it doesn’t smell great it also helps you relax enough to fall asleep. For more information about this herb take a look at this website. With these two natural remedies you will be sleeping like a baby.

Writing
The most important thing is to find out why your mind is racing. You probably already know but it is helpful to really focus your mind on it then WRITE it down.

Writing does wonders. It empties your mind because as long as the thoughts are running rampant in your head you will never get rest. Do what is called stream of consciousness writing. Just write until you can’t write another word. After you are done you will be exhausted and able to rest.

Here are my suggestions for getting great results with online dating. It takes trial and error but mostly common sense. All in all there is nothing like meeting and dating the old-fashioned way, but online introductions can kick things off. So her it goes….

Decide what is most important in your life. What are your beliefs, hobbies, causes? Imagine the person who would fit into your life and write an ad describing what and who you are looking for. Search for a specific kind of man that shares unique, yet important characteristics like you. For example, if you enjoy rock climbing and sushi put that in your ad. You want to attract a man who has one or two main interests, or beliefs as you.

Post your ad in the women for men section of Craigslist.org or other dating site. Choose the city or metro area closest to you. Be realistic about the distance a person would have to travel to see you and visa versa. Traveling out of town can be stressful, potentially dangerous, and can get old quickly.

Be realistic about the results. When you narrow your search you will only receive a handful of responses. This is good because you are looking for the person that is compatible to you.

Screen the responses you receive. Does what he says speak to your heart? Do you find him attractive? Does he come across as honest? Is he positive? What do your instincts tell you?

Choose two or three candidates to correspond with and exchange emails until you feel comfortable with receiving phone calls. If a man pressures you to go faster than you are comfortable stop writing him. Trust your instincts. Eventually you will discover who your favorite person is in time. If none of them are right for you, start your process over again and tweak your ad to be more specific.

Develop an unattached point of view. You don’t know this person well enough to make any emotional decisions. So guard your heart for the first three to six months of dating. You can always make the decision to end the relationship so don’t feel pressured to continue seeing a man when you don’t want to anymore.

Know what you want in a relationship and have a good sense of boundaries. Things will not always play out like you imagine but anything too far off is a warning sign that this is probably not what you want.

Post other ads with different titles and descriptions to see if you get responses from the same men or the man you are fond of. Does he say the same thing, using the same words as he did in his initial response to you? If so his canned response is a sign that he is not honest and not interested in you as a person. He is playing a numbers game and the more charming he seems the worse it is for you. He has perfected his game is likely only after one thing.

Beth found herself in a hopeless situation. She was divorced, the sole provider for her family, and the mother of three little kids. Although she was determined to make it, every step she took ultimately meant trouble. Beth knew that a college education would afford her with more opportunities. She didn’t have the money. She wondered if her life would change.

Impossible Dream

Are you pursuing your own dreams or the pipe dreams of someone else? Do you want a college education but it appears impossible? Do you feel it is already too late? If you answer “yes,” this report can assist you in fulfilling your dreams by completing college. As a personal coach and online advisor to families, I frequently get questions from single parents on paying for college. However, it is really more than getting the money. How does a single parent get the emotional and physical support for completing college? The college experience is a challenge in itself; single parents also have to consider their children and in many cases, working a day job to make ends meet.

This article provides single parents with a proven method of getting financial and emotional support for obtaining a college degree. This strategy will be helpful to most individuals. However, if you want more details, I highly recommend you review my special books for a more comprehensive analysis. I have spent countless hours reading books, searching websites, and reviewing past advice to clients to provide my readers with credible solutions to paying for college.  Let’s explore this matter more closely.

The Financial Aid Mystery

Understanding the process of federal financial aid can appear like a jigsaw puzzle. The first step for most federal financial assistance begins with the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) available at your local college or high school. You can apply online at www.fafsa.ed.gov. You should complete this form even if you feel you don’t meet the financial need requirement, based on your income. The U.S. government financial aid program includes Federal Pell Grants, Federal Stafford Loans, Plus Loans, Federal Consolidation Loans, Federal Supplemental Educational Opportunity Grants, Federal Work-Study, and Federal Perkins Loans. Scholarships and grants are not paid back by the student; however, loans are expected to be repaid by the student to the lending institution. It is important to work with the financial aid office where you plan to attend college. Remember, the process can appear to be difficult. However, it is to your benefit to be patient and follow through with the process.

The Single Parent Strategy

To be successful in obtaining free money, single parents need to develop a strategy.  However, the problem is that many single parents get discouraged in the face of their hectic life and the additional stress of embarking on a college education. If a person had his or her own personal planner, life would flow a lot easier! In the absence of this assistant, having a strategy for college becomes even more crucial. After conducting extensive research and providing personal coaching, I have come up with a simple strategy for addressing these problems:
Check out www.fastweb.com to set up a profile for possible scholarships.
 Contact your potential online college or a local college in your area for  financial aid advice. 
 Check out the latest college scholarship books at your library, such as
Peterson’s Scholarship. 
 Check out more non-traditional colleges. Go to Jonnie’s Distance Learning Website at http://www.geocities.com/liu_jonathan/dluniv.html.
Submit at least 100 scholarship applications.
Send letters for financial help to friends, co-workers, and other key people.
Write a letter or call local community groups in your area and ask them about scholarships.
Be persistent and patient.

The Path Forward

Paying for college is possible for the single parent if he or she is committed to his or her goals. The process of attending college is not an easy one. However, you have determined that you need additional education to improve the quality of life for yourself and your child or children. This is one of the biggest decisions that you will make. With my approach you have a simple strategy for success. Do you have the energy and the desire? This is the critical question you must ponder now. Start today and improve the quality of your life.

Daryl and Estraletta Green, who have been noted and quoted in USA Today and AP, provide personal advice all around the country.  Want a better life? Get a copy of  FREE copy of Paying for Single Parents College at http://www.lulu.com/content/892452

You can also contact them at http://www.darylandestraletta.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Daryl_Green http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Single-Parent-Strategy—How-to-Successfully-Pay-for-College—FamilyVision-Column&id=590148

Why are some people well off and others drown in poverty? How does some people seem to get all the breaks and others can get a fair shake? Do you ask yourself these questions? I did for a while until I learn the power of education.  

I learned that if I can pick up a book, read a website, and learn all that I can about a certain topic, I can change my circumstances. People are lazy and will do anything to avoid stretching their minds by reading. If it’s not on TV or on the radio they avoid it. Most people want information spoon-fed to them and will not take steps to work for the information that can change their lives. 

Maybe it began in school. Having to read “boring” textbooks and listen to a teacher drone on and on about a topic that you will never have to see again in real life may be the culprit. Or maybe it’s the easy access to television and radio where entertainment is more fun that reading a book. 

Unfortunately this mindset leaves the individual woefully unprepared for life, and left behind when it comes to good fortune. Instead of getting a great job or starting a business, life is spent slaving away as a grocery store clerk or fast food worker. Jealousy and bitterness sets in against those who have while they have-not.  It seems that the haves get all the breaks but that is the case for a very small percentage of people. The rest of the haves get where they are because they take the time to study, read, and work hard to create their ideal life.  

Education does not mean you have to go back to school and suffer through theory classes, it simply means you pick up a book and read. It means you take a course that interest you and will help you advance. It means that you become curious about the world and stop waiting for someone to hand it to you.  

Everyone has the opportunity to become educated. You may not always get a degree for your labor, but you get something far more valuable; hope. With your education, determination, and ambition you can reach all of your goals. Instead of being a person who whines and complains about what you don’t have, you begin planning a way to get a better job, home, and savings account.  

With the internet there are no excuses for not learning and being educated. There are so many free educational resources online that it would take years to go through them all. If you need to learn about finances, how to fix a faucet, or create a website, it’s all there. If you need to learn or brush up on your computer application skills, learn about investing, or how to start a business the tools are available. What about learning how to improve or repair your credit so you can buy a house or car? All that information is available online. 

The more you know the more powerful you are to change your world. There is no excuse for not being the best you possible. Now is the time to change your life, regain the power you have given away because you are waiting for someone else to fix things for you, and get what you know you deserve. So what are you waiting for?

I get emails from single moms that are both uplifting and encouraging. Some emails are filled with pain and a sense of hopelessness. Many are searching for a way out of depression and emotional barriers. Here is one letter and my answer.

From M:

“One question I would like to ask, and you can share this with the group if you’d like, what do you do when you’ve been through a hard, depressing time in your life and your still dealing with it, you’ve stopped writing and you want to start back but you need the motivation?”

I answered:
Your question is a very important on because you seem like you are at a crossroad. Your decisions now will determine how you respond to life from now on.

I want to encourage you to consider the following words and do a lot of thinking about what you want your future to look like. Remember that you determine the course of your life by the choices you make. Depression is all too common with single moms for many different reasons. I think that being overwhelmed and feeling hopeless are two of the main reasons, along with money issues.

Sometimes we try to get over things but that is really not the best way to do it. Getting over it means going over it, around it, and under it, instead of getting to the heart of the matter. Doing all those things is really avoiding the problem instead of facing it head on. It might be better to get through it by going through the problem. You don’t have to rehearse every thing about it each issue but honestly look at it and make some decisions about it.

When we think about our problems we feel all the emotions associated with it and it seems like we are re-living all the bad stuff. The memory is literally embedded in our nervous system so it feels very real. The mind is a tricky thing that is why it is so important to watch your self talk. It doesn’t help when others consistently remind us of our past either.

I recommend reading Who Switched Off My Brain by Caroline Leaf. She was on Joyce Meyer’s show recently and she has so much to say on the subject of life issues. Joyce Meyer’s, Battlefield of the Mind is also a good book.

If you are open to additional solutions try EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It is basically confronting your issues in a gentle way, and accepting that you still love and accept yourself as well as God’s love and care. I’ve tried it and it works. Old traumas, fears, and issues practically disappeared. I don’t feel depressed anymore or feel angry with people that hurt me in the past. It is truly emotional freedom. I still have some work to do but I don’t feel stuck and I know that I have truly let go and let God do what he wants to do for my life.

If you’d like more information about EFT send me an email and I’ll explain it further.

Small Steps to Self-empowerment
The first thing I did was get on a semi-permanent birth control. I got something I didn’t have to think about everyday and would last for 10 years. I’ve never regretted that decision and felt more empowered than ever. The next thing I did was move to a different city to start my life over again. I got a job and soon began going to school at night. I was determined to get my bachelor’s degree and get a better paying job.

Starting Over Is Okay
Things went well from an academic and professional standpoint. I graduated Cum Laude and got the best paying job that I ever could have imagined. I became a Technical Writer for the National Aeronautical Space Administration or NASA for short. I made more than enough money to provide for my children. I was able to put them in private school, buy a house and a new car. I was even getting my credit together, which relieved a lot of pressure.

Time and Effort Can Turn Things Around
I never imagined that things could turn around so quickly, actually it took about three years. When my life was spiraling out of control through reckless behaviors, depression, and anger I could do little to help myself. At least I thought I couldn’t, but I soon learned that I have just as much control over my own life as I allowed other people to have. When I realized that I could make my life into whatever I wanted it to be I made plans to succeed.

Decide to Succeed
Success is a decision and a process. It doesn’t just happen. A young single mom just starting out may feel helpless and hopeless but that is not the only reality. You have to decide what you want, write down your vision or plans for your life, and take the first step to complete your goals. To get to that point in your life you have to change your mindset. Negative thinking, anger toward your ex or significant others only hinder your progress.

Negativity is a Waste of Time
You have to wipe away the negativity and stop wasting energy on being angry, depressed, and self-destructive. Instead find the positive in everything and focus on that. It’s hard at first and you may feel like little Sally Sunshine, but it get’s easier as you do it.

Self-care is Essential
The next thing you should do is take good care of yourself. This means eating right, exercising, reading inspirational books, listening to life affirming music, and getting proper rest (hard sometimes but try). When you are feeling run down, sick, and tired all of the time you cannot focus your mind or have the will power to make significant changes in your life.

Self Control is About You
Remember that you are in complete control of your life. No one can make you do anything that you don’t want to do. In the same way, you can not make anyone do anything they don’t want to do either. When you learn this simple lesson life gets easier. Letting go of controlling behavior liberates you to be exactly who you want to be. You can only be a positive influence, mentor, or advisor to the people who want this from you.

Your children have to listen to you for the first few years of their lives because they don’t know any better, but even they will only need you as an advisor when they get older. They have to learn how to control themselves just like you have to. So what does this have to do with creating the life you want? Everything in fact. When you learn self control then take control of the person you can change (yourself) then you can achieve anything you want to achieve.

© 2008 Samantha Gregory

1. Eat Well
2. Have Fun
3. Go to the Beach
4. Play
5. Laugh Too Much
6. Be Positive
7. Think Pink
8. Make Love
9. Compliment All
10. Kiss Your Mom (or mother figure)

Find one small thing to thank him for and one less thing to harass him about. You’d be surprise how saying “thanks” can soften a man’s heart, so thank him for one thing. It could be taking the kids for the weekend (even though that’s what he’s supposed to do), it could be paying child-support on time for the month or at all, it could be for being on time to pick them up or dropping them off, it could be for being a great dad. Whatever it is you choose, make it genuine and keep saying it until you find something new. If you never find anything else, keep thanking him for the one thing.

Compliment him in front of your child. This may go against everything you have done up until now, but it’s important for his children to see him as the good guy. Find one thing you can compliment him in front of your child. It doesn’t have to be he’s good looking or anything like that but something worthwhile. He may have been great at sports, fixing things around the house and/or cars, telling jokes, or a hard worker. Brag on him about the one thing you admired about him when you were dating.

Note: This advice is only for women who are dating or married to normal and average men. If you are in an abusive relationship this may not help you. You should get out as quickly as possible. If you are being physically, sexually, or verbally abused please get help. If you choose to use the relationship tactic above you do so at your own risk. Men who are emotionally unstable are not likely to respond positively to this relationship tactic in a way that will benefit you.

Next time I’ll discuss another secret to a successful relationship with your man. But for now, start respecting your man and remember that it’s about both of you winning and getting what you want. Let me know how it is going for you.

You Rock!

Respect Him

Women hate to hear that because they automatically say that he doesn’t deserve respect because he’s a deadbeat, irresponsible jerk! What you are saying may be true, but if you don’t learn this one little secret you will always have trouble with men.

If you listen for a second to the man or men in your life you will hear him always complaining about not getting respect. You are not giving it to him, the boss is not giving it to him, and society is not giving it to him. He may not use the words quite like Rodney Dangerfield did, “I gets no respect around here!”, but he is saying it in so many other words.

If you are currently divorced and/or have a child with your ex you can apply the same principles. Even though things didn’t work out between the two of you, throwing a little respect his way will go a long way in the future. Belittling and discrediting him is counterproductive. It only serves to make him angrier and harder to get along with. Every discussion and encounter with him will be like taking a thousand needles and sticking them in your eye. Don’t do that to yourself or your children.

But, how do I respect him you ask? There is nothing to respect you argue! Well let me tell you a little secret: You are not respecting for his sake, you are respecting him for your sanity. It’s his nature to need respect, especially from a woman and the mother of his children.  Remember, you want a conflict-free relationship with him because you have a child together, which makes your life easier. More next time…

Note: This advice is only for women who are dating or married to normal and average men. If you are in an abusive relationship this may not help you. You should get out as quickly as possible. If you are being physically, sexually, or verbally abused please get help. If you choose to use the relationship tactic above you do so at your own risk. Men who are emotionally unstable are not likely to respond positively to this relationship tactic in a way that will benefit you.

The Job/Career

Working is one thing single moms usually can’t get around. We have to work to make ends meet and give our kids the semblance of a normal life. But there are times when all things related to the job make me what to throw in the towel and go on welfare. It’s much safer at home where I can surf the internet all day, cook a great meal for the kids, and take naps. But instead I get up early to go to work where I am not always appreciated and praised.

There are even times when the boss is a jerk and refuses to admit his mistakes or give me credit for a product or process. I’ve learned that the battle is mostly in my mind, because in the world of work, every person is ultimately number one and I don’t matter much more than the completion of the next project. So with the battle being my head I can make some choices. I can make the choice to not take things personally.

I can realize that at the end of the day I get to go home and be with people who love me. I also understand and jump for joy that my boss is not going to come with me. I get to leave him right where he is and forget about him and the job until the next day. The battle is won in my mind and I am at peace. Of course I still do a good job, because I realize it’s more about personal satisfaction than anything.

The battles in your life and mine seem to come nonstop, but we are fortunate enough to have choices, smart enough to make good decisions, and savvy enough to make those decisions matter. Because in the grand scheme of things the little battles are just a minor annoyance compared to the joy of motherhood.

Tell me what you think. What is your experience? Empowerment is yours!

Rockin’ Single Mom Sam