Judy H Wright
Teasing is universal, its a reality. In my class when I ask anyone if they have been mocked as a child the answer is always the same. Yes. Then I asked who they were mocked by, there are a number of responses, I get: brothers and sisters, the kid down the street, their teacher or even their families. People are still able to remember that teasing or harassed the. The torment they suffered becomes a part of them.
Teasing can be friendly or malicious. When we start to look at the difference between the two, we realize that the part of the teasing that goes on is to know where are your clickable buttons. Tease humans, the process of weeding if two people are a good match as friends, if their interests are the same and acts as a mating game. Others have dubbed it Playground politics.
There is an absolute hierarchical order on the playing field. If I ask you to look back in your past and who think that a level playing field was popular, who are the children who have been accepted, which were those which was controversial? We are easily able to remember who were these people.
Remember that children who did not mix well? Who are the children who always seem to be in transition, by adapting their personality to what any situation or social group that they met. You may be able to appoint the persons too.
Our goal as parents is to help our children to discover who they are as a person. We need to worry about teach our children to be a good friend, instead of helping them find friends. We must teach our children to be the kind of person who are attracted to other people.
As parents, our job is to teach our children to be the person who will attract the kind of people they want to be around. When we teach them to be the person we are teaching them really three things: the confidence, character and critical thinking.
Here is what a person looks like back, shoulders open chest. Their hands are not tight or crossed, this posture demonstrates that they are open and their hearts is for other peoples hearts. Our position shows that we are accessible. Confident people look the other people in the eye and smile. They smile without assuming that the other person is going to smile at the back.
Our children must learn the character and values, so that they will never be caught in situational ethics. Our children need to know what their values until they are placed in situations where these values will be tested. If the children are placed in a situation where another child be collected or teasing, they must know the kind of person, they are, or want to be and have the power to make a decision on how to get involved based on their values. They should know that they do not want to participate in a situation where a person can be injured. A child must already know they want to be a kind person, before they are always placed in a situation where they must decide.
If children have made the decision early in life to be kind, they can easily make the decision they do not want to be involved in other teasing, even if it means going against the group.
Our children need to be taught to think critically and solve problems. During the next decade, the ability to solve problems is very important to our children. We need to learn not only to resolve the conflicts, but to manage. Children need to learn these skills so that they do not become complain or tattles, but exercise their power to be strong. Learning to determine if the conflicts that are produced are small problems and can be solved easily, or if there is a larger problem, (as someone to be wounded) which may require intervention by an adult.
There is a program called the choice of Kelso which empowers young people, their parents and other caring adults with the ability to determine their own behavior. He teaches how to master the emotions which is an essential skill in the resolution of the conflict. Choice of Kelso teaches youth do step to take personal when they are teasing. The program teaches when children are currently teasing it is very rarely on their subject and is most often on the child which is teasing. Children are taught that the teaser is often involved in some sort of fight for power. This knowledge can significantly reduce the amount of intrusive, what is happening and prevent small problems of hot-air balloon in huge problems.
As parents, we are encouraged to help our children develop the ability to decifer when something is a small problem, like a pebble, and when a problem is perhaps more large as a mountain. It also allows to improve child self-esteem self as become more confident in solving their own problems. This tool is not only a solution for today, but something that can be used for their entire lives.
We can help our children learn critical thinking skills in a number of ways. Children must learn tools such as redirecting to another activity, sharing, taking turns, talk it out, walking away, or ignoring any conflict. An important skill that they will learn teaches them that it’s OK to tell someone that they need to stop when that person makes it uncomfortable. Using body language, as a confirmed hand, how to define the boundaries. Many times these things are all that we need to do to stop a behavior.
If its your child has done something to cause a conflict, we parents need to teach them is OK to acknowledge that they have something wrong and apologize, as do their best to rectify the situation. Our children need to know that it is OK to exit and take a cooling off period.
I have developed a list of items to help children to be more sympathetic:
I hand always Q-tips in my class as a reminder to stop taking it personally. This serves to remind young people that all what is on their subject. They should know that they have the power to solve their own problems, unless there is a danger involved.
To allow the children to find their own peer group and feel comfortable with who they are. Do not push to be in a group of peers, in that they feel comfortable.
When we talk about the events of the day and you as a parent heard many negative comments, make sure you ask them
View the Original article